


The Nightmare, Once Past

by Mikiri



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura (Voltron)-centric, Bad Ending, Body Horror, Everyone is Dead, Gen, Gore, Misuse of Balmera Crystal, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Season/Series 04, Shiro (Voltron) Has a Clone, Torture, VLD Horror Bang, Zarkon Wins, seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-03-25 13:40:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13835910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikiri/pseuds/Mikiri
Summary: How could everything have gone so wrong, she was only supposed to be in the pod a few hours, a day or two at most. It had been over 200 years and now she needed to discover what had happened in her absence. The dead only tell tales in their own memories.





	1. I See Dead People

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't read the tags, this entire fic goes badly, literally everyone dies, including the mice and several things that weren't technically alive in the first place. This will be posted about a chapter a day with some minor scrambling. I was lucky enough to work with the glorious apodemusalpicola and Litzy and Kitt! Feel free to yell at me on tumblr @mikiri
> 
> Link to Art!  
> Link to Art!  
> Link to Art!  
> (Links will be updated..... once they exist)

When Allura stumbled out of the healing pod she expected to be caught by one of the paladins, so when she actually kept falling and hit the floor, she found it very strange and felt almost irritated. Normally one of the paladins was around to catch whoever was coming out of the healing pods, so the complete and utter silence informed her there was something wrong. The wrong feeling was enforced when she tried to mentally reach out to the mice and got no response. Allura worked through the lingering weakness and chill that came with the use of the healing pods and sat up. Looking around nothing seemed wrong exactly, but the continued silence and lack of reaction to her removal from the pod was giving her a bad feeling. 

 

As she slowly stood she became more aware of what exactly was wrong. There was a skeleton hunched over the central pod control station in what looked like the half destroyed remnants of green armor.  

 

Allura felt her breathing stop. That couldn’t be Pidge, not her Green Paladin. Pidge was alive, she couldn’t be a slumped over skeleton. Had she awoken into some terrible alternate universe? Had they found some strange portal to another place? There was no way one of her paladins had died while she had slept. There was no way, they had all gotten so good at combat, there was no way Pidge was dead.

 

Allura darted forward, carefully not disturbing the skeleton slumped onto the console. She had to know, how long had she been asleep? It could have only been a few days, that’s what the pod should have been set to. She stared in horror when the date appeared, 242 years had passed. Two hundred and forty-two years since she had last been awake. She had to know what had happened while she had been asleep. There was a faint, blinking warning in the corner that she ignored as she turned off the screen. 

 

She carefully removed herself from the console, leaving Pidge’s skeleton undisturbed. She headed to the bridge with a sense of purpose, she needed to see the records of what had happened 242 years ago to result in the death of her paladin. As she marched toward the lift she saw something that made her chest hurt even more. She had first noticed the bayard, the paint slightly corroded by blood and time, but still noticeably yellow. A few feet away was a yellow helmet, dented on one side and spattered in blood. 

 

Allura braced herself as she move forward, trying to prepare herself for the image of Hunk’s remains. But no matter how prepared she thought she was, it was not enough. Her heart ached in pain as she stared, the top half of his skull was gone and there were bone shards scattered that she assumed were his right arm and leg. She felt tears gather in her eyes, the pain he must have felt would have been horrendous. She took several steadying breaths, she had a purpose, she needed to know what happened and falling apart here would only invalidate the effort she could plainly see had been put into hiding and protecting her. 

 

She was tired of people dying for her.

 

Allura composed herself as best she could and slowly, carefully, stepped down the passage avoiding disturbing the bone fragments of her beloved Yellow Paladin. She approached the lift, almost expecting to face the horror of another body in the dimly glowing tunnel. When the lift itself arrived she breathed out a sigh of relief, there was not a body left there to decompose and terrorize those who used it. 

 

As she stepped into the lift and it began a much slower than normal ascent. The thought of the lift’s use led to another thing she hadn’t considered. If they had lost the battle as horribly as they seemed to have, why did there seem to be no Galra presence in the Castle? There should have been a steward at least, someone to make sure no one else came and took over, especially if the lions and bayards were still onboard. However, so far, she had seen no such person and it struck her as an arrogant choice for an empire bent on ruling the known universe. 

 

She stepped off the lift and felt all of the composure she’d been able to keep dissolve like sand sliding dusty and dying through her clenched fist. Left pinned to the wall like a dead fish, Shiro’s skeleton was still terrifyingly easy to identify. The metal arm left dark from lack of energy, the strange circuitry that was literally etched into his bones that had formerly been used to control it. Metal took the place of several bones throughout his body with no rhyme or apparent reason, and from where the bones seemed to be almost purple tinted Allura knew Shiro had suffered during his death.

 

Allura fell to her knees, three of her paladins dead, each in a more horrific fashion. She was terrified to continue, but she knew she must. She stared at Shiro’s bones blankly as she tried to muster up the resolve to get into the bridge. She was starting to see why there seemed to be no steward, the Paladins bodies left a message that could not be ignored. They had been overpowered, overwhelmed and completely slaughtered. She mentally  reached out for the mice for comfort, but just felt a hollow echo. Had, had the mice been killed as well? She could barely consider the idea, she had already lost her parents, her planet, now her paladins and the mice? Was Zarkon and his empire going to take everything from her?

 

She slowly pushed her way to her knees and forced herself to stand again. Her legs felt shaky and unstable below her but she only had a few steps to go before she reached the bridge.... If only she could get past Shiro’s body. If only she could move forward. 

 

Allura took a few staggering steps forward, eyes tracing the circuitry inscribed onto Shiro’s bones. They had never fully been able to figure out how Shiro’s robotic arm had been attached while he had been alive but now she could see, in gruesome detail, exactly how it worked. She reached out to touch him. Just before she made contact she jerked back, barely remaining on her feet, remembering that he had been left here as a statement, a warning for all who came to the bridge of what the empire was capable of. Who was to say that his body didn’t have a lingering spell attached to it to cause an observer harm. She should know better, she had survived this long because she didn’t do things that looked like blatant traps, and leaving a body like that? That was a trap.

 

She took a deep breath, focusing her eyes away from the horrific message of Shiro’s body and took a few marginally steadier steps and held her breath as the door to the bridge opened. She knew there was going to be a body behind the door, someone would have been piloting the castle, trying to save them all, and the only place to do that from was the bridge. She had a terrible sinking feeling in her gut, the vague achy feeling of the barely scabbed over emotional wound of being one of the last Alteans, she knew who she would find on the bridge no matter how much she wished it not so. 

 

Allura stepped onto the bridge, ignoring the way the emergency low power lights flickered ominously before turning on. She studiously ignored the front of the bridge, the helm that Coran always commanded with great precision, and settled into Hunk’s command center. It was closest to the door and Hunk had been very good about keeping a record of what was happening on the ship. She sat at his station desperately trying to ignore the flash of Hunk’s brutalized skeletal remains that she kept involuntarily remembering every time she saw something that reminded her of him. She briefly thought it was a mistake to use Hunk’s station, but Pidge’s would be no better, Shiro’s was too close to, to the helm, and without knowing what had happened to Keith or Lance, she couldn’t bear to go through their stations. 

 

She opened Hunk’s record log, hoping it would distract her from the emptiness of life in the castle and the body of her closest companion she was desperately ignoring. Her heart sank as she saw the first line of the last entry,  _ Keith is visiting today! Everyone’s really excited it's been weeks since we saw him. _

 

Keith had been off with the Blade of Marmora for over a phoeb and if he had been visiting that meant he had likely been killed as well, and Allura's heart shattered just a little more. She had hoped one of the Paladins hadn’t been slaughtered in what seemed to have been an absolute slaughter. Allura said a short prayer for the dead and read on. Hunk had been happily rambling about his day until it ended with  _ Oh, Keith’s on the approach, I’m going to go meet him!  _

 

Allura tried to ignore how her heart fluttered with panic about the idea of never learning about what had happened to her Paladins, her friends, her advisor. She had to do something, she had to know,  _ she needed to know _ , how could have it all gone so wrong? Allura huffed and grabbed Hunk’s data pad before leaving the room, her eyes drawing involuntarily to where she knew Coran’s skeleton would lay. Allura shook her head and quickly left the room before the curiosity overwhelmed her, heading for the lounge that she prayed would have been empty during an attack. 

 

No matter how much she wished, it wasn’t true. On one of the walls, knee high, in that strange human script all the other paladins used was a message in front of yet another skeleton surrounded by a red-brown stain. It looked mostly undamaged compared to the others, but the message left in the human’s strange red-brown blood indicated it had been unpleasant. With significant effort she translated the message  _ We’re sorry -L _ , Allura felt a sharp stab to her already broken heart. Only Lance, would apologize for dying in an ambush. 

 

The door behind her suddenly opened, and when she turned to look, all she could feel was confusion. There before her stood Shiro, which was impossible for she had seen his body nailed to the wall. But he was not the Shiro she remembered, his hair was white, he lacked the scar over his nose, he had two non-mechanical arms, but he was still unmistakably Shiro. He looked as surprised to see her as she was to see him and they both lept to more defensible positions.

 

How, in a castle full of skeletons, was there a phantom of Shiro who lived on? Was it a trap? Allura reached for the bayard that wasn’t there, realizing belatedly she had been wandering about in a medical suit instead of either her dress or her paladin armor. Cursing her inattention, she looked around for a weapon and her eyes landed on the red bayard that had been left just out of Lance’s reach like a taunt. Allura dove and grabbed it, expecting it to transform into something, anything, to defend her.

 

When the bayard remained inert in her grip, she felt a hand squeeze her heart. The bayards were connected to their lions, if something had happened to one, it was reflected in the other. She may not have been the red paladin, but the lions were tied to her, it should have done  _ something _ . She felt her heart stop as black and gray boots appeared in front of her, and she looked up into the face of someone who couldn’t be her Shiro.

 

He was unarmed, and so very tired looking, his white hair made him look even more paradoxical than when it was black. How old was Shiro again? He had been very young, just like them all, when their mission began. She knew humans didn’t live as long as many other species so how could Shiro be in front of her over 200 years later and still look so young, and yet so old. 

 

Shiro finally spoke first, sounding both surprised and resigned, “Are you going to use the castle to fight Lord Zarkon again? Because I can’t let you.”

 

Allura sputtered momentarily, he didn’t sound like her Shiro. Her Shiro would never call Zarkon lord, or speak in such a resigned tone. He always seemed to have that determination that they would succeed, which had made him so frustrated when he felt useless after they had rescued him. Hesitantly she queried, “Shiro? What do you mean?”

 

The person in front of her recoiled, seeming startled at the name, “I have no right to being called Shiro.”

 

Allura frowned and reached out, “Shiro? What’s going on?” 

 

“Stop calling me that! I’m not Shiro. I’m just, just, a copy. Left behind to ensure people like you never come back.” Shiro snapped, a dark anger coloring his voice.

 

“Shiro-”

 

“Stop. Calling. Me. That. It isn’t me, and I'm sorry if that disappoints you, but will you  _ please _ stop calling me that.” Shiro, well not Shiro apparently, punctuated each word by poking Allura in the shoulder accusingly, causing her to fall to the floor once more. 

 

Allura huffed slightly, “Fine. I’ll stop calling you Shiro. However, I would like to know what to call you instead.”

 

Not Shiro crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, “I…..don’t know, just stop calling me Shiro.”

 

“Fine, Not-Shiro. What happened here, why are you here, what’s going on?” Allura asked, mirroring Shiro by crossing her arms over her chest, the bayard still clutched in her hand dangling awkwardly.

 

Shiro rolled his eyes, “You lost, Castle was invaded and you lost. And the universe was lost with you.”

 

“But, the Lions-”

 

Shiro shook his head, “Went into stasis after the paladins died and you were sealed. Face it, the universe is fucked.”

 

Allura took a deep breath to steady herself, “How did my paladins die?”

 

Shiro shrugged, “Hell if I know, I’m the second caretaker of this grave, it’s not my job to know. Go ask the stupid crystal if you want to know, or read the records. The footage from that day is long gone. By the way, you’ll never be able to get out of here, all the pods have been destroyed, and well, the Lions are still asleep. I’ve got a report to send, bye.” And with that, Shiro left the room, leaving Allura only with the skeletonized remains of one of her friends.

 

Allura slowly stood after Shiro left, processing the conversation the best she could. A crystal, he mentioned a crystal that could show her what killed her paladins. There were many crystals that were used to power the Castle, but none that she knew of with the ability he was implying. 

 

She let the idea go to be contemplated later and decided to go check the other major information he had given her, the lions. Something had happened to the lions that had put them into essentially a coma, if semi-sentient robots could fall into a coma. She said a quiet goodbye to Lance and left the room, carefully avoiding looking at Shiro’s body as she approached the left.

 

The ride in the lift was the same eerie silence that made it feel like she was descending into a gaping black hole. The trip down to the central hanger felt like it was taking so long, giving time for the idea that this was likely where Keith’s body lay to wiggle into her brain and take root. She thought she was prepared for it when she stepped off the lift, but the looming bodies of the lions combined with the scattered fragments of what used to be the escape pods felt like walking into a war zone.

 

The strange gathering of evidence of events made the hanger feel like a shrine, undisturbed and silent, its walls seemingly reaching up forever. The lions loomed, silent, unmoving, like statues of an honor guard protecting the body of her last paladin. Their shields were down and the silence was deafening, her every step echoing in the cavernous chamber. She could feel the dark energy that lingered like a veil over the room as she approached Keith. His body was unlike the rest, untouched by time he looked like he was sleeping, his hands crossed over his chest. If you could ignore the flaking browned residue around him he looked almost untouched. 

 

She carefully skirted the remnants of the pods and even Keith’s tiny cruiser, its fragments still recognizable. The scattered remnants looked like a child’s temper tantrum trying to ruin the tragic image of Keith’s final resting place. She knelt beside his body, ignoring how the movement disturbed the dried blood and stared at her final paladin. She could see now the dried blood from the attack left on his face, the way his face was just so slightly misshapen like his cheek had collapsed inward. She stared and stared until she couldn’t stand it anymore.

 

Allura shoved herself upward and away, ignoring the brown stains on her once pristine white medical suit. She could feel the hopeless rage of her people being torn from her again bubbling like a repressed volcano about to explode. She took several carefully measured steps over to where the red and black lions stood, empty vacant statues lost of life their souls seemingly crushed by the loss of their second set of pilots. Or maybe they were crushed since they were tied to her and her own soul felt crushed and smashed to pieces. And even though she knew it would do nothing, she allowed herself to breakdown and scream at the lions for not defending their paladins better in what felt like a tomb and museum of their sacrifice.

 

When she finally lost the energy, the rampant desire to scream, feeling the dark claws of depression ripping at the emptiness inside her chest she became aware of a flicker. Barely there, not even enough to be called an awareness, that existed just on the edge of her being. An idea, an answer to the question of the crystal Shiro talked of. The image coalesced in her mind into a familiar shape, one she had never considered. The Balmera Crystal, a crystal from a sentient being that contained enough energy to power a starship. A crystal that could collect the impressions of those who lived around it. 

 

She felt an ugly sort of hope even as the flickering image died away leaving her in the silence of her own being once more. If she could convince the crystal to show her those impressions of her family and how they died, maybe just maybe she could move forward to try and raise the rebellion against Zarkon again.

 

There was only one way to find out if the idea would work, so she said her last goodbye to her paladin and his lion guards and reentered the lift. The ride up to the crystal chamber above the bridge was just as silent and eerie as the ride down to the hanger. The gentle woosh of air as the lift passed empty floors, the lights occasionally flickering, reminded her of the inescapable emptiness of the Castle. Her only apparent living companion was a plant of Zarkon’s and unsympathetic to her plight, but maybe, just maybe, after she figured out what happened she could convince him to her side. 

 

The lift drew to a stop jarring her out of her thoughts, opening to a darkened room; the glow from the Balmera crystal illuminating the area with its soft blue light, throwing everything into sharp contrast. As Allura approached the crystal it began to pulse and resonate as if recognizing her, welcoming her. She reached out to touch the crystal with the delicacy every princess learns and felt the crystal greet her in equal parts welcoming and sadness. 

 

The sheer warmth she felt from the crystal nearly made her cry after the hours of wandering the castle in nothing more than a cryo-suit. She knelt down to lean against the crystal, enjoying the warmth it projected, truly relaxing for the first time since she had awoken. 

 

The warmth slowly changed to a feeling of inquiry, the crystal having sensed her intent when she had first touched it. Allura sighed and projected back the feelings of loneliness and loss, the morbid curiosity of the one left behind. The crystal’s warmth dimmed in sadness before projecting another inquiry at her, asking if she wanted to know. She projected back an overwhelming feeling of yes, she had to know, she needed to know, she was drowning in her ignorance and she couldn’t breathe, she  _ needed _ to know what had happened. 

 

The crystal replied with a sad acceptance as the lift doors opened again and Shiro entered the room. Allura barely had time to look up into his face before the crystal’s warmth swept over her and dragged her consciousness under.


	2. Invasion into Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we start with Keith.

Allura had asked to see her paladins deaths, but she had not expected it to happen like this. The crystal had made it so it was like she was a spectral passenger in Keith’s body, unable to warn him of the impending attack only able to observe and see what he could see.  She knew this was essentially torturing herself, but she had to know what happened.  She couldn’t allow herself the safety of ignorance when she didn’t know the threat that had killed her second family.

 

She watched Keith’s skillful hands finish the docking procedures of the small Marmoran craft, saw the reflection of his smile in the glass as the coms crackled to life, “Hey buddy, glad you made it safely, we’re on the bridge, well, except Allura. She got hurt really bad yesterday so we’re kinda figuring things out while we’re stranded out here. Oh, and Lance. He’s taking a nap in the lounge.”

 

Keith exited his craft, smiling while he listened to Hunk’s rambling commentary, making the appropriate noises until suddenly he wasn’t.

 

She hadn’t been aware of how in tune Keith had been with quintessence sensing until now. The sudden feeling of ice poured down her spine, his sudden focus on his surroundings as he looked frantically for what was wrong. “Hunk, shh. Something’s wrong I need to focus. Get everyone somewhere defensible, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

 

“Really? Really? You’re trying to scare us with a Star Wars quote?” Hunk scoffed slightly, sounding distracted like he was working on something else.

 

“Shh! I mean it. Get Coran to scan for intruders. Something’s _wrong._ ” Keith insisted, backing towards his craft again while unsheathing his knife, doing slow scanning looks across the whole hangar. Out of the corner of his eye Allura noticed an outline of a team of soldiers sneaking into the lift. The movement attracted Keith’s attention as well and he dove forward, calling out, “Shit! Hunk, they’re in the lift.”

 

“I’m looking, man, I’m looking! The cameras aren’t picking up anythi-behind you! Keith!” Hunk seemed to have caught onto the urgency.

 

The warning came too late, the intense feeling of pain right next to her spine indicating where he had been stabbed. She mentally sobbed with pain while Keith launched himself into a flurry of attacks at an enemy he could only see the outline of. The intruders seemed to be outfitted with similar technology to that of the green lion, making them harder to see. Keith’s rage was keeping him moving, but she could feel the coldness seeping into every limb, making the edges of his vision darken even as he furiously attacked the distorted outline of the intruder. His heartbeat working against him as it spread the poison with every beat. Weakly he gasped into his coms, “Poison, their blades.” he panted, never ending his furious assault and tried again, “Poisoned blades. Watch out.”

 

She heard Hunk’s frantic calls, as if from far away as the coldness finally took over and Keith fell to the floor like a marionette with its strings cut. She saw the opponent flicker into view, assuming their arrival had been announced. She watched, helplessly, as he began to walk away leaving Keith to die of either poison or blood loss. With the last of his energy Keith threw his knife.

 

His vision faded out as he watched with satisfaction as the blade made impact. The opponent stumbled from the unexpected pain, and Allura could just make out the snarl. The opponent came over and kicked Keith in the head and-

 

Allura awoke in her own body sobbing, sliding from her seated position to sprawl on the floor. Shiro who wasn’t Shiro at all, knelt in front of her, unsure as if he couldn’t decide to comfort her or not. His earlier rudeness seeming to flee at the presence of her tears. The Balmeran crystal pulsed slowly as she sobbed, its pale blue light illuminating the room, it's heat radiating, trying to comfort her. She could see an error message on the data station not far away, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Poor Keith had died alone, unsure of his place on a team he had died trying to protect, never knowing if his death had saved them. And she knew, she knew, it hadn’t saved them at all.

 

Keith had died, a teen adrift in the galaxy unsure of his place giving everything to the people who should have tried harder to keep him. They had pushed him to lead, then undermined him the moment Shiro had returned, and pushed him away again. When he finally came to visit, he died trying to protect them for she could feel that he still cherished them. The Shiro who wasn’t, finally reached forward and brought her head to his shoulder, hands barely touching her as if she was glass that would shatter. She continued sobbing as she decided to take the comfort he offered even if he wasn’t Shiro.

 

Eventually she calmed and pushed back from Shiro and he released her immediately, “Sorry. I… I just couldn’t stand to see you so upset.” He looked away, inspecting the crystal in an effort to not look at her.

 

She took a deep breath, “I-” she couldn’t get the words out, still feeling the chill in her limbs, “I-”

 

He looked up into her eyes briefly before his eyes flickered away, “Whose?”

 

She tried again, taking a gasping breath, “K-Keith. I-I saw how he died, I felt it. He never stood a chance, even with all of his training.”

 

“I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere enough, but it didn’t change anything.

 

“It isn’t enough.” She insisted, determination pushing away the panic.

 

“What? What do you mean?” He asked, looking just to the left of her, seemingly unable to make eye contact.

 

Allura grabbed not Shiro by the ear and forced him to look her in the eyes, “I need to know how they all died. I’m going to do it again.”

 

He looked startled, and she could see his irises contract, “But-but, Allura! That’s crazy talk. That’s practically torture! You can’t- besides, the power-”

 

“I am.” Allura looked away and reached out to grasp the crystal again, focusing her energies on what she wanted. She felt her consciousness slipping away into the next set of her friends’ memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to yell at me @mikiri.
> 
> Next chapter might be a little delayed, we'll see going to friends place who has no internet.


	3. Bearing a Cross most Unfortunate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro's first death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for electrocution, is near the end.

Allura felt the same discomforting swirl into focus as she joined the next set of memories. She wasn’t quite as sure whose memories she had joined, as the person was staring out the bridge windows into space.

 

“Shiro, my boy, come here please.” Coran called, and Allura felt that scabbed over emotional wound bleed again. She had a feeling Shiro had died protecting Coran so what was coming would hurt.

 

Shiro jolted away from the window coming over to Coran’s station at the front of the bridge, half listening to Hunk chatter at Keith via the coms. As she listened she could hear the beginning of what she knew was Keith’s death. 

 

“Really? Really? You’re trying to scare us with a Star Wars quote?” Hunk asked, Shiro looked over and noted he was fiddling with one of his engineering projects. Looked like the one for expanding their communications range, but he couldn’t be sure it was hard to keep track of Hunk’s projects.

 

Shiro turned back to look at Coran, “You called me?”

 

“Why yes, Number One, I need you to press some buttons while I check the connections, there seems to be an error in our sensory array and I need to locate where. I’ve already sent the mice further into the circuitry so any time now once I’m set, press the blue button.” Coran explained, pointing at the button then crawling under his data display. Allura could feel her dismay rising, the sensors had obviously been tampered with indicating that there were probably far more intruders onboard than she had seen from Keith’s death.

 

Shiro waited a few seconds then asked, “You ready?”

 

“Yes, give it a go now!”

 

Shiro pressed the button and watched as the display flickered and shorted only moments later, he could hear Coran murmuring unflattering terms as he fiddled with the wiring. Allura knew she was probably the only person to realize that Coran was simply muttering the names of parts in an unflattering manner, not simply cursing.

 

Shiro turned sharply and looked back at Hunk when Hunk’s voice became more urgent, “I’m looking, man, I’m looking! The cameras aren’t picking up anythi-behind you! Keith!”

 

“What’s going on?” Shiro asked while crossing the distance between him and Hunk as quickly as possible.

 

Hunk flailed slightly, fiddling with camera access while he tried to explain, “Keith said there were intruders, apparently in the lift, but I can’t find them with any of our scanning equipment. But Keith’s being attacked so they must be somewhere, I think they have cloaking equipment.”

 

“Cloaking equipment? It shouldn’t be able to hide them from our scanners, they’re top of the line!” Coran protested, stealing Hunk’s keyboard and fiddling with the settings.

 

“Top of the line?” Hunk snarked back, focusing on the security feed, “Coran, I hate to break it to you but the castle is ten  _ thousand _ years old. The Galra empire wasn’t frozen just because you were.”

 

“Also weren’t we just trying to fix the sensory array? It can’t be top of the line if it’s broken.” Shiro couldn’t help but interject.

 

Coran harrumphed in complaint but continued focusing on the screen, his typing somehow managing to increase in speed. Shiro tried desperately to ignore Hunk’s frantic attempts at talking to Keith who never seemed to respond. Allura’s heart went out to Shiro as he turned away from the security feed as Keith went down. 

 

Shiro took a steadying breath, “We need to stop the elevator. ”

 

“That we do Number One, however there is a slight difficulty with that. The intruders seem to have cut off communications between the bridge and anywhere else. And when I say communications, I mean all signals.” Coran replied in a deceptively, forcefully cheerful voice. 

 

“So we’re trapped? We’re trapped with invisible aliens invading the ship  _ killing us _ and we can’t even stop it? I can’t hit what I can’t see, that’s not how aiming works.” Hunk pushed himself out of his chair and began pacing anxiously. “And we can’t even get word out to warn our allies. Oh no, how will we warn Lance? Or Pidge? And what do we do with Allura, she can’t be removed from the pod. What do we do?” Hunk looked over at Shiro, desperate for some guidance in this horrible situation.

 

Allura could feel as Shiro stopped breathing, seeming to panic for a moment before taking a breath to recenter himself. Allura wondered how often it happened for Shiro to seem so used to it. The pause stretched a moment to long as Shiro seemed to scramble slightly, seeming to have made no contingencies for something like this. Shiro closed his eyes, seeming to argue with himself about what he was going to say, “We, we stall them. Hide Allura, get Pidge and Lance and head to the Lions.”

 

“We’re giving up then? Abandoning the Castle, and Allura, and saving ourselves?” Hunk asked, frustrated tears in his eyes, shaking his head  like he couldn’t believe what Shiro was saying.

 

“You think I want to do this?” Shiro shot back, sounding equally upset, “We can’t take Allura out of the pod or she might die. We can’t alert Pidge or Lance because the communications are blocked, so we have to find them ourselves and not take the direct paths to the Lions. We can’t send a message to the Blade,  _ this is our best shot. _ ” Shiro’s voice sounded hoarse as he talked. “This is our best shot and I hate it too, but we can’t leave the rest of our team with no warning.”

 

Hunk seemed cowed by the response, but nodded putting on a brave face and Allura knew it was because Hunk couldn’t just leave his friends either. Hunk turned to Coran who was still clicking away at Hunk’s command center, “Coran, do we know where Lance and Pidge are?”

 

Coran hummed as he flicked through the security feeds with the speed of one who had done so before, eventually replying, “Well Number Two, it looks like Lance is in the lounge at the other end of the end of this floor. Pidge seems to be in the medical lab, fiddling with- well, it doesn’t matter what.”

 

Shiro nodded, bouncing on his feet slightly, letting Allura feel exactly how anxious her Black Paladin was about the plan. Shiro nodded again before delegating, “Okay, I’ll go get Lance, Hunk go get Pidge and seal Allura. Coran-”

 

“I will be working on punching a warning beacon through the communication barrier. We need to alert our allies we are abandoning the Castle.” Coran interjected, a dark gleam in his eyes that Allura had only seen rarely when talking about the beginning of the war.

 

Hunk gave an aborted nod before looking back at Coran, “How will you know when we get to the Lions if internal communications are still jammed? I don’t want to leave you too! We can’t-”

 

“You must. Number Two, Hunk, my boy, situations such as these are never easy. You must trust I will do my job and you will do yours, and we will both see each other again. You must trust your  teammates. Now go. You as well Shiro. We will see each other soon.” Coran clasped a hand briefly on Hunk’s shoulder, and then Shiro’s, giving each of them a searching look. Allura wanted to cry knowing this conversation would probably be the last the paladins had with her most trusted and beloved advisor. 

 

Hunk clasped a hand over Coran’s for a brief moment, then pulled both Coran and Shiro in for a hug, and Allura couldn’t help but bask in the feeling of warmth and friendship. Hunk let them go a second later, determination shining in his eyes, before marching out of the room.

 

Shiro followed him, but paused to linger near the door. He looked back over his shoulder at Coran who was moving back to his own station. Allura felt Shiro open his mouth to say something, then close it several times, like he couldn’t figure out what to say, like he knew this was the last time they would talk. Eventually he walked out the door and it sealed behind him, there would be no going back now Allura knew. He turned to look forward and froze.

 

Before them was a situation that Allura could barely comprehend, much less Shiro. A druid stood menacingly in the lift entrance, observing as Hunk tried to fight off a dozen figures with barely flickering outlines. There was an awkward pause in the battle, as if no one was quite sure what to do with Shiro and to Allura it was tragically comical. 

 

Hunk was the one who broke the moment by throwing one of the camouflaged attackers off his back over his head and into the wall next to Shiro.  And with that, the room unfroze and Allura could identify that three of Hunks attackers switched to Shiro instead. The ensuing fight was interesting to watch for Allura. The systematic way that Shiro analyzed the fight and his spatial awareness was something that Allura hadn’t quite realized the extent of before. 

 

Shiros presence seemed to be turning the tide of battle, but Shiro’s habit of keeping the druid on the edge of his vision kept reminding Allura of the inevitable outcome. As the druid began to move Shiro called out, “Hunk, get ready to move!”

 

Hunk turned for a second distracted, “I can’t just-”

 

Shiro dove forward and slammed into one of the attackers who had been prepping to hit Hunk’s side, “Go!”

 

Hunk glared but ran towards the lift, using his shield as a battering ram to divert those trying to stop him. Allura mentally sputtered when Hunk, upon reaching the lift, body checked the druid out of the way before diving into the lift and vanishing from view. 

 

There was another pause as everyone but Shiro and the operative he was fighting with stared at the druid who was laid out on the floor. Then in a dark, grating voice, Allura heard, “You have made a mistake Black Paladin. The Yellow Paladin may be gone, but this act will be your  _ last. _ ”

 

The sudden blinding pain was incapacitating, the power flickering madly from the feedback, the purple lightning crackling over Shiro’s skin. Shiro panted, and Allura felt the uneven rhythm of his heart as he tried to control his breathing. There was another flash of burning pain, his hands couldn’t stop shaking, his eyes blurring, he tried to look up at the druid who had come to loom over him but his eyes just could not focus. There were black spots taking over his vision as he heard the same voice, “Move him to the wall, we will leave these rebels a message.”

 

There was footsteps all around, hands dragging him up and pinning him to the wall, he tried to activate his arm but nothing happened. The voice again, saying something he couldn’t hear, wouldn’t register, and Allura’s connection wavered tenuously. Shiro struggled, trying to move but it was like his wrists were attached to the wall in what Allura remembered as some strange Earthen religious pose. The voice sibilant and gloating, “Operation Kuron, commencing termination.”

 

The blinding pain, the heat, neverending as it danced across his nerves, inescapable and-

 

Allura sat up screaming with Shiro hovering in front of her, a wary look in his eye. Her hands shook as she gathered him into a hug, ignoring his aborted attempts to escape. She held him, even knowing he was not the same, and whispered frantically, “You died, you died, dead, dead, dead. You’re not allowed to leave me. You can’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone again.”

 

Allura let out a wet sob, her body twitching like it had been the one electrocuted, and Shiro’s hands gently, unsurely, wrapped around her back. Even the cool metal of his right arm was more grounding then jarring after the last vision. 

 

“If you don’t want to be alone, then stop doing this. You’re torturing yourself for information you might not even get-” Shiro leaned back, bringing his arms up to her shoulders, trying to reason with her.

 

“I need it. I need to know. I can’t stop now, I’m so close-” Allura shook her head, not as in control as she would have liked, her hands balling into shaking fists behind his neck.

 

“Allura!”  His hands tightened their grip warningly, trying to save her from further pain, he may not be her Shiro, but there were fragments of him there.

 

With a broken sob, Allura broke free and slammed her hands against the crystal and was sliding into darkness again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, come scream at me @mikiri on tumblr. uh. well. so yeah this was a thing. next chapter in a couple days.


	4. Sleep and You're Dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance took a nap at the worst time.

Allura stared at the darkness wondering who she had awoken as. She could hear noise but all she could see was just darkness, it was like whoever it was was sleeping. She wondered why the Balmera crystal had shifted her into a sleeping person when every other time it had put her just before Keith’s death. Then she remembered something from early in Shiro’s vision, Lance had been sleeping in the lounge, this was Lance’s death. Her breath caught, she knew he had awoken at some point from the writing on the wall, but when? 

 

The noise, music(?), stopped suddenly, seeming to jar Lance into waking. The bright light hurt Allura’s eyes as the lounge came into view, before suddenly the lounge was plunged back into darkness, only the emergency lights remaining on. Lance’s voice seemed unnaturally loud in the silence, “What’s going on? Coran? Hunk? Shiro?” Lance paused, sitting up on the couch, “Pidge? Allura? Anyone?”

 

Lance pushed himself into a standing position before putting his hands on his waist and huffing, “Geeze, what’s going on? Is the Castle haunted again? Where is everyone?” Lance pulled off his headphones and put his hands over his head and Allura wished she could warn him of the very real danger, especially since he wasn’t wearing his armor like Shiro had been. The memory of Shiro’s last moments made Allura’s stomach turn uncomfortably, so she decided to focus once again on Lance.

 

Then, as if from far away she could hear Shiro screaming from the torture the druid had put him through. She felt Lance frown in confusion and quietly creep towards the doors, steps light and silent in a way she hadn’t seen him use before. The doors opened just before he could reach them and he rolled over next to the wall she had found his corpse next to and she mentally cried out in protest and warning.

 

But Lance couldn’t hear her, just like how he couldn’t see the cloaked figures before they stabbed him twice in the gut and left him convulsing on the floor waiting for death. Slowly, shakily, Lance reached a hand up to where he could see, the red blood dripping from his fingers. Allura could feel his shaking limbs and shakier breathing as Lance doggedly wrote his final message on the wall. The worst part for Allura was when Lance finally let his hand drop as he stared at the ceiling bleeding out, no longer in control of his limbs enough to do anything but lie there helpless. As the world started to blur she could just barely hear him say, “I’m sorry mama, papa. I’m not coming home again.”

 

The world through Lance’s perspective greyed out and blurred into the crystal control room Allura and Shiro were currently occupying. Reflexively she reached down and felt her abdomen where Lance had been stabbed, unconsciously imitating his movements by bringing her hand to her face. The surprise she felt at the lack of blood on her fingers was distant, like it belonged to someone else like in the memories. Was this weird drifting feeling normal, she wondered, before deciding it didn’t matter.

 

Shiro’s voice startled her, his voice sounded flat like he was drifting too, “Did you learn anything? Are you done doing this now?”

 

Allura shook her head slowly, “Unfortunately, this vision presented nothing new but another death to be felt. Lance was unaware of the invasion until moments before his death.”

 

“That seems decidedly inattentive for a defender of the universe.” Shiro remarked sounding unimpressed. Allura was reminded again this wasn’t her Shiro, her Shiro had never been so dismissive of one of his teammates. 

 

“They were in the middle of a rest cycle, sleeping is advised you know.” Allura defended. 

 

“Sure,” Shiro agreed with a shrug, “but not waking up during an attack still reflects badly on him.”

 

Allura suppressed her irritation, yelling at Shiro, a Shiro who had never met Lance or any of the others, wouldn’t change anything. She ran a hand through her hair frustrated, “It was a sneak attack, an invasion, the alarms didn’t even go off. What do you expect? People to just mysteriously sense danger and be able to escape a room through the only door, where people were waiting outside to kill any who were not their own.”

 

Shiro held his hands up in surrender, “Fine, whatever. Now are we done with this?”

 

“No,” Allura shook her head, “I haven't been able to figure out Hunk or Pidge’s death. There still must be more.”

Shiro rolled his eyes in exasperation as Allura reached for the crystal again, still desperately seeking knowledge.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, come scream at me @mikiri on tumblr. Next chapter still needs some fixing, and I'm migraine hell so might be a couple days.


	5. Overload

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So. This is really not supposed to be the next chapter. but it is. for personal reasons. explanation in authors notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief bridging notes: This is chapter 11. I may or may not post the chapters between these two points. So things to know for between:
> 
> Coran dies from poison gas, the mice go with him.  
> Hunk died after getting Pidge, and defending her from a bomb, though she does get splash damaged.  
> Pidge dies from bleeding out from her injuries and being shot while hiding Allura.  
> First Shiro death was a clone, like the one there now, original!Shiro was rescued by Lotor and group came to investigate. Invaders were still there and Killed them.  
> Zethrid and Lotor both die separately of this chapter, but now the crystal/castle is running out of power.
> 
> Explanations for skip at the end.

Lights, heavy breathing, moving fast, faster,  _ faster,  _ and -

 

The gun reassuringly snug in her palm as she snuck around the corner-

 

\--

R E D A C T E D

\--

 

The poisoned sword forcibly penetrating her abdomen, the pain, the burning fire in her blood. The feeling of being lifted, ineffectual attempts at freeing herself, the feeling of the cold floor against her burning wound, and then-

 

Lightning,  _ pain,  _ agony, the rage of one silenced by this before-

 

She fired shot after shot, dodged person after person-

 

The link shattered, leaving her in the dark, cut off from the world, sightless, deaf, and mute. She could smell that horrible familiar smell, the one that wafted off their robes, she fought and fought-

 

Being invisible didn’t seem to help, they could still find her, she had to run-

 

He stared at the mirror image of himself, bile in his throat-

 

The unmistakable sound of the airlock alarm-

 

Invisible people marching down the halls, she could feel them-

 

She scrambled for a grip, but the vacuum of space was inescapable. Her hands were slipping, slipping-

 

\--

R E D A C T E D

\--

 

(She could hear a voice, calling to her. Calling, calling, shaking her.)

 

\--

R E D A C T E D

\--

 

He wanted to cry, he’d done as he should so why, why-

 

She fought-

 

She fought-

 

She fought-

 

He died.

 

(Who was she?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. There was a shooting. At a school near my house. Where my friends sibling went to school, and kids I babysit go to school. And, I'm just. Really shaken up by it. So I just can't bring myself to post the chapters about Hunk and Pidge when they're the same age as the kids who got shot. I. Can't do it, I just. Can't and I'm sorry. So we're skipping to what I have done and edited, which is the end. Chapters will be added when I can. Just. Not Now. Sorry.


	6. Whistful Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is supposed to be the last chapter.

The world around her snapped back into focus abruptly, so unlike all the other times. The strange tumultuous fragments of memory the crystal had bestowed on her at the end suddenly cut off leaving her with the strange feeling of falling and now floating. She opened her eyes and saw Shiro(? She knew he wasn’t her Shiro, but what else to call him?) glaring at her from where he was floating some feet away near the control console where he had parked himself before her last attempt at using the crystal for answers.

 

“Are you happy now? Now that you’ve effectively killed us both and condemned the universe in your selfish quest for answers?” The accusation was sharp and it hurt to hear Shiro say, even if he wasn’t her Shiro.

 

_ He wasn’t her Shiro, not either one. Never her Shiro, but her only companion in death. _

 

She pushed herself away from the crystal that no longer had that lingering warmth that had comforted her when she had first found it. She drifted into the air, the weightlessness of the lack of gravity making her happy she was wearing the medical suit instead of her dress, it would get in the way less. She sighed and considered Shiro as she drifted, “I never asked you to stay with me. Why not land the castle and leave? It should have been within your capabilities.”

 

Shiro snarled at her, “And die like the clone before me? He did as he was ordered and died because of your lot-”

 

“I know. I saw.” Allura interrupted smoothly.

 

Shiro seemed stumped by this, and pushed his way over to where she was floating, “You saw?”

 

Allura nodded and turned to look him in the eyes, “Everything. From my paladins deaths, to Lotor and his crew’s attempted takeover, to all three people known as Shiro. A parasitic ghost, watching each of their movements towards death.”

 

Shiro stared back into her eyes, “That is the burden you wished to carry, I cannot take that pain from you.”

 

Allura looked resolutely back at the crystal, avoiding Shiro’s eyes as she stared at its inert form. There was no more light, no more welcoming warmth in the room. Perhaps those last fleeting fragments were the crystal’s last attempts at showing her the truth. She sighed, “How long do we have?”

 

Shiro rebounded against the wall back over to the control console, then tried tapping at it before sighing, “Well, the power’s dead so however long it takes for the air up here to run out.”

 

Allura nodded heavily, they were not long for this world then. There was an awkward pause where both Allura and Shiro took a second to contemplate the realization of how they were going to die, and how soon. For all the death’s Allura had willingly relived, none of them had died of suffocation, at least not that she had fully lived. Shiro finally broke the stretching silence, “I knew from the moment you woke up, unless the lions awoke, we were going to die.” 

 

Allura nodded, “I suppose I figured that out as well.” There was an awkward pause again and Shiro stared at her as if he expected her to continue, and eventually Allura did, “Once I saw the hangar with Keith in it, I knew. If the lions would not awaken at that point, they would not until new paladins come.”

 

“If new paladins come.” Shiro replied with a deprecating snort, “Voltron is done. All the hope that happened when it first appeared died out like a candle in a monsoon. Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. And well, since you’re trapped here with me, I guess we’ll just have to hope the castle eventually crashes into a planet and rekindles a rebellion.”

 

“We can only hope so.” Allura replied before pushing off to perch on top of the crystal. While the lack of gravity would normally be a pain, it at least made her last doboshes, or even vargas, more entertaining. Allura hummed, “Rebellions are built on hope after all. So we must hope that eventually there will be a rebellion again, and they will succeed in taking down Zarkon.”

 

Shiro let loose an off color laugh, “Well, more the power to them. I’d toast but well, we’re stuck.”

 

Allura smiled, the twist of her lips feeling almost foreign now, “Well, we can toast to them in spirit. To the next rebellion, may they be successful.”

 

“To the next rebellion.” Shiro echoed, an equally strange looking smile on his face. He then pushed off the control console and floated over to her position on the crystal. It took a certain amount of strange maneuvering in the zero gravity environment but eventually they settled back to back hovering above the crystal.

 

Allura relished in heat of Shiro’s body pressed against her back, the cold that had been seeping into her since the crystal had died was being forced away again. They sat there, in rather companionable silence, for what felt like vargas waiting for the air to run out. When she began to feel light headed Allura began to hum an old Altean song, she couldn’t quite remember they lyrics, but she could remember it was a song for mourning the lost. The second time she ran through the song, Shiro joined in, their voices making the castle feel less dead in its last moments. 

 

When the blackness began to creep into her vision, she tried her hardest to relax even as her pulse rocketed, preparing to join her paladins in the Castle that had become their tomb. She felt her body struggle and protest as they ran out of air, and she could feel Shiro convulsing behind her, gasping and panting for every last molecule of oxygen. 

 

When the blackness finally took her, it was almost a relief. No longer was she the sole survivor of her race. The silence that fell after their last gasping breaths was all that was left of the mighty Voltron and its unfortunate paladins.

 

Even thousands of years later, the Lions never moved again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said last chapter. Sorry. I'll. Try to post the rest. Just. Not now.

**Author's Note:**

> Things only go downhill from here, so buckle up!


End file.
